Obsessed with Food...

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I just made some caramel sauce. I find myself oddly distracted at times  by the thought of starbucks' caramel brûlée latte. And yeah, they're only $4, but when my choices are : latte for me or gallon of milk for everybody, I'm gonna pick the milk every time. So I decided...hey...I can do this, and without the crap ingredients that you end up with in the international delights or whatever store bought brand with 50,000 questionable ingredients...so I made some.

It was: 1/2 stick of butter, melt it in a saucepan on medium, 1/2 cup of brown sugar & 1/2 cup heavy cream. Stir until all mixed & bubbly and pretty, then add 1/2 tsp sea salt, stir about another 5 minutes until it starts to thicken. Take it off the heat & add 1 tsp vanilla. Taste it & adjust according to your taste buds. I added a splash more cream to mine, and a wee bit more salt. It's goooooood.

Anyway, if you put it in a jar in the fridge, it *should* last about 2 weeks... Unless you dump it in coffee & on ice cream and French toast or everything else like I intend to do! I think this jar will last about 4 days. We'll see if the hub likes it as much as I do…
So I've been getting my thanksgiving ingredient list & recipes together. Usually for thanksgiving, we go to my family's gathering in Williamsburg, va. This year, however, the thought if sitting in a car with a toddler, a giant dog & all of our crap (including, of course, the hub's bike...sigh) for 6+ hours is just NOT working for me. Aaand we dont exactly have the gas money to drive that far (or a non-crappy car, for that matter!) It makes me horribly sad though...my godfather/uncle has cancer and this will more than likely be his last thanksgiving with us. So I'm going into this holiday sad. Instead of going up to Virginia, we're spending the holiday with the hub's family in Florence, SC, which is only about an hour & a half away.
Florence is Brad's hometown. I, on the other hand, moved there at 13, and spent every summer that I could far far away. Then I left for good at 17. God I hate that town. There are a few people there that I kept in touch with, and going back doesn't make me nauseous the way it used to, but I still can't say I'm a fan of spending time there.
I've also volunteered to cook sides for the feast...mostly because of the diabetes, but holy hell getting coordinated is a headache. But kind of fun at the same time!
I haven't cooked thanksgiving dinner since 2000. I'm not making the turkey this year, but still...

In 2000, I cooked a duck & a bunch of sides & a pumpkin pie. It was just my ex and myself for the actual meal part, and I was only 22 years old and had never done anything like that before (I chose a duck because my stove was the size of a shoebox & I didn't feel like I could fit a turkey and anything else at the same time. And I freaking LOVE duck. Love it.) my little house was teensy (about 350 sq ft) and I ended up taking my computer off its desk and setting the desk as a dining room table.  With a sheet as a tablecloth. No shit. It was kind of fun, except the bastard had NO food passion, so he just sat hunkered over his plate and fed. We took some to his father, who suffered from the same passionless existence, and he sat on his couch, hunkered over his plate, feeding, ate everything on his plate, then told me that my duck was greasy. THEN my ex's best friend came over later and ate a plate and told me it was "delicious" and actually seemed to appreciate the food and the nature of the meal. I'm still friends with my ex's best friend 12 years later.  My ex...I shoulda broken up with him that day. We are not still friends. I am, however, friends with his wife. She's awesome.
So that was my last experience at cooking something as intricate as a "feast," even though I cook at least 2 or 3 meals a week and have assisted my mother at thanksgiving a few times...it's just not the same as doing the majority of it solo!
Luckily my hub is passionate about food. I'm one of those people that thinks that food should be experienced with all of your senses. Which is difficult for me, as my desserts and casseroles usually end up ugly as hell...but lumpy casseroles and lop-sided cakes aside, I believe that food matters. It's not just "something to shit later" as my mother says.  Which is probably why I'm 10-15 pounds overweight when I'm not pregnant.  Eh.

So I’m looking forward to cooking (I love cooking for people who enjoy food) but not looking forward to cooking in Florence.  And not looking forward to not seeing my family this year.  Especially Uncle Joe.

 

Anyway, the kiddo is asleep right now and the house is a TOTAL disaster.  After my Friday night melt-down, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself yesterday to do much of anything, so today I get to clean clean clean.  I can’t think straight in a messy house.  A certain level of messiness is acceptable and unavoidable, but when it gets to the “I have to weave my way through the living room to avoid stepping on stuff” and “oh my god we’re all going to get botulism and die from the condition of the kitchen floor and counters…” it’s time to clean for real! 

 I just wish it would stop RAINING so I could kick my poor insane dog outside for longer than 28 seconds.